The Gravediggers

This week’s script was a lot of fun to write, the first draft came in a few pages too long and I had to be really brutal chopping down to two pages. I had the two characters talking about fatalism and the class system, it was becoming very pythonesque by the end of it so I cut all that stuff out.

I loved writing these characters and could have just kept going and going, I might even revisit them at some point.

I hope you enjoy it.

The Gravediggers

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3 thoughts on “The Gravediggers

  1. I’m not sure if this is meant as a film script or play script but am basing my comments on the assumption that it’s the former. I feel this scene needs more sense of direction and more conflict. Also, I don’t get the sense of two distinctive voices for the gravediggers. My suggestion would be to make one the old hand and the other his teenage apprentice. That would reinforce the power dynamic. Also, if one is much younger, perhaps he uses more “modern” lingo – that would differentiate the two and perhaps infuriate his partner. Maybe even have the older one represent the establishment and have the teenager a proto communist. He could voice the Lollard’s famous dictum “When Adam delved and Eve span, who was then the gentleman?” as his partner idly sits on the gravestone sipping his ale and not doing a hand’s turn to help fill in the grave.
    Because this is a very dialogue heavy scene I’d be inclined to break up the speeches with action.
    Hope these comments are helpful.

  2. Thanks for the great feedback, Mike, and thanks for giving it a read. Unfortunately the differing voices of the characters is something that took a huge hit when I edited the first draft down to two pages.
    All great suggestions should I ever do another draft, thanks again.

    -Robert

  3. I actually work with a collaborator and it is the case (for us two at least) that two minds are better than one. We bounce ideas off each other and hey presto something emerges that neither of us could have produced on our own. Screenwriting is very much a collaborative process anyway.
    Mike

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